A question we may ask ourselves, “Am I Depressed?”

Depression has been explained in many different ways. It can be like wearing a dark pair of sunglasses that negatively affects our experiences. It creates a perception of the world as dark and sad,void of joy and happiness.

Depression can make us feel as if we are living in a box that has a foot of space to spare, making breathing and living life very difficult.

Nearly everyone has experienced some form of depression in their lives, and many individuals face depression on a regular or constant basis.For these, the consequences can be debilitating.

Each of us at some time will either experience the effects of depression or will be involved in a personal relationship with someone who is experiencing it.

What Is Depression?

Depression is more than just normal sadness that you may experience from time to time. It is a mental state that can also be manifested into physical symptoms.

It is defined as: A condition of mental disturbance, typically with lack of energy and difficulty in maintaining concentration or interest in life.

Depression can be even more severe and an adequate definition would be severe despondency and dejection, accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy. This second form is often called clinical depression that many feel is triggered by hormonal imbalance, brain dysfunction or other medical conditions. Individuals who suffer from clinical depression need the help of specially trained medical doctors and Christian counselors.

Signs of Depression

If you find yourself in an extended period of sadness or depression, you may recognize a few of these signs:

Difficulty making decisions
Sleeplessness or oversleeping
Worry
Feeling hopeless
Worthless
Guilt
Exhaustion
Pessimism
Lethargic
Lack of motivation
Resentment of others
Not eating or overeating
Complaining
Distrust of God
Suicidal

Not a great list to live life by, I encourage you to recognize the signs of depression early so you can take steps before you reach a place that you start considering suicide.

Godly Perspective

Do you believe God created you? If you answered yes, you may then think if you are facing depression something must be dramatically wrong. First let me say, there are many Christians, people in the Bible and non Christians who deal with depression; it touches all walks-of-life. Faithful people are not immune from depression.

Being depressed does not mean God is mad at you, or it is due to a lack of faith, or from sin or Satan. It also does not mean that you are not saved, or do not love God, or the thousand other statements people will make. Please put all of that to rest. There is enough stigma on anyone who has depression, they do not need a greater burden, they need their burden lifted.

Don’t Be Surprised

We often think that painful trials, such as being depressed, should not be part of our life and if they are, there is something drastically wrong. Yet, this verse can be very freeing because God is telling us not to be surprised, nor is it unusual if we are experiencing suffering, or pain in our life.

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.

1 Peter 4:12 NIV

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When the fear of rejection becomes too great they will often abandon the relationship or cause it to dissolve. That may not make sense but from the one fearing intimacy reality is not of top concern. They are attempting to protect their fragile emotions and will often do so at any cost. They end up creating the very thing they wanted to protect against. Both sides get hurt but the one who fears intimacy feels if they had not abandoned the relationship their hurt would have been much deeper and they would have been more vulnerable. The other partner is left dazed and confused attempting to figure out what went wrong.

It has been reported that women face this issue more often and that many are facing some degree of depression. At a deeper emotional level there may also be some form of poor self-image and a lack of feeling attractive and desirable. Remember it is often times not based on reality but it is based on their emotions. To them it is real and it is there reality. The causes can be very deep.

Often times the fear of intimacy may develop from childhood trauma. It could be a father who fails to show love to his little girl. He himself may lack the ability to have an intimate relationship with his daughter thereby setting up a lifetime of hurt and vulnerability for her. It may be a dad who abandoned the family causing his daughter to not trust the men in her life and leading to emotional and even physical fear of intimacy. From that day forward it will affect every man that comes into her life. Furthermore, it will devoid her of what she wanted most, an intimate relationship. Because of the distrust, that intimacy can not and will not happen. Thereby setting up a life of disappointment, a life of blaming every man in her life for causing her to hurt and not trust them. It is sad, a little girl who only wants to be loved and guaranteed it will not hurt.

Is God The Answer?

We have a complimentary gift for you, “God’s Answer?” A twenty-nine page essay downloadable in minutes that will show you how to live life through a power that will radically transform you. First you will learn how to surrender and live a life of intimacy beyond your wildest expectations.

You have hurt long enough, it is time to let God do His transformation in your life. Your life surrendered to Him will lead to a lifetime of intimacy, no more false hopes no more impact of a dad who failed you. Your Heavenly Father is waiting.

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I read the other day that God does not forget our sins once we ask for forgiveness. That is contrary to what His word says.

For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.
Hebrews 8:12

For us, there is a difference between forgiving ourselves and forgetting the wrong we did. God is able to remove your sin from His mind; we do not have the same ability as our Heavenly Father. The sin we committed may linger in our mind and there may very well be consequences from our acts of disobedience. Yet God tells us we are forgiven and our sins are as far as east is from west.

as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
Psalm 103:12

Does it have anything to do with the severity of our actions? No, God does not put some kid of qualifier such as, this sin or that sin requires something extra because of the severity of the sin.

Can you live the life God intended for you if you do not forgive yourself? How many times will you beat yourself up or let your heart be burdened with the sin in your life. When God’s word tells us to confess a

Is forgiving ourselves really easy? Yes, it is if you realize the difficult work was borne by Jesus at the cross. It would not be accurate to say forgiveness came at a small price. I get to forgive, and forgive freely, because Jesus died on the cross. He suffered a horrible death and for 6 hours He was completely separated from His Heavenly Father so I could have forgiveness of my sins. What would that say about the value of His sacrifice if I refused to forgive myself.

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Loneliness is a fact of life and each of us at sometime will need to learn how to cope with loneliness. Well, that is not very encouraging nor will it help me to cope with loneliness. It is a first step. There is not one person on the face of this planet who has lived a few years who has not faced loneliness, perhaps many times.

Loneliness can be temporary; your spouse is out of town on a trip and you miss them. Maybe you are the one traveling and you are alone in a hotel room. If a spouse is away at war, you not only face loneliness but you also battle worrying about your loved one.

Some loneliness is much more permanent because of the death of a friend, parent, spouse or a child. Loneliness can also come from a relationship break up or a divorce. Loneliness that has no timeline, no endpoint or future reunion, brings a permanency of your grief and hurt.

You may see yourself as a lonely person not because of the absence of a particular loved one, but because you spend the majority of your hours alone. Perhaps you have no family or just a few relatives, who you do not see much. You may lack friends and find yourself facing life all alone. You might spend many more hours by yourself than you do with others, leaving you longing to have someone with whom to share the adventures of life.

Loneliness leads to anxiety, stress and even depression. Loneliness literally hurts. I heard it described once by a young woman as a physical pain in her chest from the grief of her husband’s death and the loneliness that took his place.

I have a close friend who lost his wife from cancer. After a recent visit he told me as I was leaving that he had to figure out how to fill the rest of the day so he wouldn’t be lonely.

Can someone be lonely with people around? Yes; people are not the answer to loneliness. If it was simply being around people, individuals who live in large cities would never face loneliness. Yes, people can take up some of our time but loneliness runs much deeper. The answer for loneliness is the same answer for so many of our hurts and pain in this life.

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A question that stirs thoughts of battle or losing in the minds of many. We are taught to live life to its fullest, to depend on ourselves, to conquer, to win, to overcome. If we can visualize or paint a picture of the outcome we desire we can succeed. God’s plan is quite the opposite.

It is the Holy Spirit that brings us to the cross and causes us to face the reality of our need to die to the world and sin. We can never live a life that is beyond our hopes until we have died to ourselves. Look at what a dear friend said regarding surrendering to God, “For me, this has been the greatest key to walking in joy, peace, and freedom is allowing Him to rid me of self (a lifetime process!)”  

The joy of surrendering your life to God is something you must experience yourself. No one can explain it. You must experience what it means to surrender to God for yourself.

Surrender must come as a genuine response from your heart. Think of the issues you are currently wrestling with and then imagine I say to you, “Just surrender them to God and give Him control.” My wife of 27 years died when she was only 51 years old, and initially I was not ready to hear those words: “Just surrender everything to God and give Him control.” Those words would have seemed cruel at that time in my life. However, as God graciously reminded me over time, surrender is what He wants from us. His desire for my life is that I surrender to Him, giving Him complete control. (With time, it also became just what I wanted to do.)

It must also come as a genuine response from your heart. Think of where you are right now and then imagine I say to you, “Just surrender it to God and give Him control.” My wife of 27 years died when she was only 51 years old, and initially I was not ready to hear those words; “Just surrender everything to God and give Him control.” Those words would have seemed cruel at that time in my life. However, as God graciously reminded me over time, that is what He wants and that is His desire for my life, to surrender to Him, to give Him complete control. (With time, it also became just what I wanted to do.)

Think about how you are bearing the burdens of hurt, pain and emptiness in your life. God does not want you to live with those burdens. He wants you to give Him every hurt, every pain, and every situation you are going through. There is nothing in this world more important or more exciting than surrendering everything to God. Your surrendering to Him will lead to healing, transformation, and an abundant life, greater than you ever imagined possible.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverb 3:5-6

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Often time we are told how to deal with stress or how to manage the stress in our life or given techniques to deal with stress. We get great advice such as, avoid those who cause you stress, keep a diary, exercise, proper sleep, meditation, hypnosis, be optimistic, do a new activity, alter your behavior, and sometimes the only advice left is medication. It makes me even more stressed thinking of managing my stress or trying all the techniques suggested or taking a drug to alter my behavior. I just want peace in my life with a joy and a new zeal in living life. Is that too much to request of life?

There is an answer well beyond all the techniques of managing stress in our lives and it comes with a new zeal for life. We are promised a peace and a joy beyond our imagination. It isn’t new but I have discovered very few people actually live this way yet, it is ours for the asking.

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No one finds it easy to continue on after the death of a friend, sister, brother, parent, spouse or child. Each brings its own hurt and pain. The intensity of the loss will vary tremendously. My feelings after the loss of a best friend were quite different from the loss of my parents and those losses were significantly different than the death of my wife.

I was with my best friend only a few hours before he died. I remember him pulling at the sheets and being very agitated. I sat beside him and held him for a long time while trying to provide comfort to my friend and companionship to his wife. It was difficult for her to witness her husband struggling and to know the end was near.

Sitting and staying with my mom in the hospital during her last five days and nights was quite a different experience. I recall looking at her countless times to see if she was still breathing. She was ready to go home to heaven; and that helped everyone who loved her. Nevertheless, watching your mother struggle to breathe during her last hours is never easy.

My dad, a wonderful 86 year old man who had lived a full life, died six years later with lung complications. He was also ready to go home. He had missed my mom terribly over those last six years. I wished I had known then what I know today. We provided him a good life but I failed to realize the hurt he was going through. The night he died, I was alone with him for the last four hours of his life. I held him in my arms during those last hours, just he and I. I was able to tell him what an awesome dad he had been and how much I loved him. What a privilege to get to hold him and to hear the death rattle. It was so sweet because I knew where he was headed, to see his Jesus and to see my mom.

I grew through these experiences yet, they did not prepare me for the biggest loss of my life. My previous spouse of 27 years was diagnosed with stage four cancer. Ten weeks later she also went home, just like my friend, my mom and my dad. This experience, unlike the others, rocked me to my core. It is a story all its own. Some moments I could smile, but at times the grief was all consuming. I would feel trapped in a box; breathing, merely surviving was all I could manage. It was as if I could only take one step at a time. It was during this experience that God began to mold, form, and change me beyond anything I could have imagined. He was preparing me to accomplish His work through my life.

I encourage you to take advantage of our complimentary gift, “God’s Answer?” It will demonstrate to you a power to not only live life, but also a power to change your life, beyond your wildest imagination.

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Sometimes our guilt is the result of moral failings. The list of wrongdoings can be quite long and can range in our minds from small missteps to sins that seem worse, or have worse consequences. Sometimes we can justify our actions by comparing our shortcomings to those of others. Feeling guilty is healthy. If we have no feelings associated with doing wrong, what does that say about us? People who appear to suffer no guilt or have no conscience are often labeled as hardened criminals, cold-hearted, or anti-social. They don’t feel guilty. In this sense we can embrace our feelings of guilt and set about to alter our behavior of our wrong doing or immorality.

Have you ever attempted to change your own bad behavior, or shortcomings, but find yourself repeating, “I am sorry” or “I will not do that again?” I know I have. I say I am sorry and promise myself that I will not repeat the same behaviors. Yet not much time passes before I am in the same situation again. I am trapped in a cycle of sinning, feeling guilt, and trying to change myself.

Sometimes we do things that we cannot justify and that seem unforgiveable. Forgiving yourself and being guilt free may seem impossible. Maybe it is an affair. You cheated on the love of your life, your children’s father or mother. You have caused hurt and deep pain to those you love most. Perhaps you or a girlfriend became pregnant and chose abortion only to discover you feel tormented day and night by your decision. You are trapped by your wrong doing and nothing seems to ease the pain and the guilt that is tearing at your very soul. Guilt like so many hurts in life robs us of the life we want to live.

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Loneliness is a fact of life. Well, that is not very encouraging nor will it help me to cope with loneliness. It is a first step. There is not one person on the face of this planet who has lived a few years who has not faced loneliness, perhaps many times.

Loneliness can be temporary; your spouse is out of town on a trip and you miss them. Maybe you are the one traveling and you are alone in a hotel room. If a spouse is away at war, you not only face loneliness but you also battle worrying about your loved one.

Some loneliness is much more permanent because of the death of a friend, parent, spouse or a child. Loneliness can also come from a relationship break up or a divorce. Loneliness that has no timeline, no endpoint or future reunion, brings a permanency of your grief and hurt.

You may see yourself as a lonely person not because of the absence of a particular loved one, but because you spend the majority of your hours alone. Perhaps you have no family or just a few relatives, who you do not see much. You may lack friends and find yourself facing life all alone. You might spend many more hours by yourself than you do with others, leaving you longing to have someone with whom to share the adventures of life.

Loneliness leads to anxiety, stress and even depression. Loneliness literally hurts. I heard it described once by a young woman as a physical pain in her chest from the grief of her husband’s death and the loneliness that took his place.

I have a close friend who lost his wife from cancer. After a recent visit he told me as I was leaving that he had to figure out how to fill the rest of the day so he wouldn’t be lonely.

Can someone be lonely with people around? Yes; people are not the answer to loneliness. If it was simply being around people, individuals who live in large cities would never face loneliness. Yes, people can take up some of our time but loneliness runs much deeper. The answer for loneliness is the same answer for so many of our hurts and pain in this life.

I encourage you to take advantage of our complimentary gift, “God’s Answer?” It will show you how to live life through a power that will transform your life. This journey of yours is not about your talents or abilities or anything you can do to change your life. It is about allowing the power of God to radically change you.

How many years have each of us struggled to alter our path by our own talents and abilities, only to find we fail or fall short most of the time. I had been a Christian for many years. I had taught, preached, and traveled to very dangerous places to spread God’s Word; yet, I still lacked the freedom and the transformation God had planned for me.

I encourage you to pay very close attention to the information in “God’s Answer?” As you do, you will see that God, in His perfect timing is waiting to take you on a journey that will be beyond your wildest imagination.

Is a Breakthrough Really Possible?

Absolutely! I have seen it in my own life, witnessed it in the lives of others and know for certain that God’s Word says His power to save, transform and empower us is available to all who ask and believe.

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Acute Stress

The most prevalent form of stress is acute stress. It results from present or upcoming short term events. Arguments with loved ones, disobedient children, unpaid bills, illnesses of family members, or upcoming changes could all be triggers for acute stress.

Episodic Acute Stress

This type of stress is the result of a certain disposition, or way of dealing with life’s events. People who suffer from episodic acute stress might have aggressive personality types. They might also be those people who have an extreme drive to succeed or who are always on the go. Their lives might appear chaotic and out of control. Having a pessimistic or worrisome view of the future might also lead to episodic acute stress.

Chronic Stress

This is the continuous stress that never seems to let up. It goes on day after day wearing you down both physically and emotionally. Chronic stress often harms all of your relationships. It can leave you without hope and can even cause you to want to end your life. This type of stress stems from seemingly unchangeable circumstances such as broken marriages, financial ruin, or chronic illnesses. When you are suffering from chronic stress, even the slightest additional burden feels like it will send you over the edge.

Many times we are told how to deal, cope or manage our stress, but feel that we do not have the emotional energy to follow the various strategies. Our souls cry out that there must be a better answer. We ask, “Is this how life was supposed to be lived?”

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